It’s been really hard to sleep post sickness (I’m still a bit under the weather and on meds so thankfully I’m always knocked out effortlessly) that I have been using my “lullaby playlist” more often than not for help. A few nights post sickness, as my lullaby plays – on shuffle of course – a song that I didn’t realize I included on the list played and I had to keep still for a few seconds to remember where I heard it before I decided to keep it on repeat and eventually fell asleep in the process. No, it’s not an instrumental and it’s possibly one of the saddest song I’ve ever heard in my life but since I am me, I find it appealing and for some reason helpful because I so want an excuse to cry, that’s how trying things are right now.
The first time I heard this song is on Dream High – the first one, with Wooyoung. Sorry, I just had to sneak that in there, I hope you understand. If I remember it correctly, IU played this in the hospital, I’ll probably re-watch the drama soon, when I can focus completely at home. Yeah, back to the song.. Here it is:
I know, it’s definitely a very unlikely lullaby cause it’s just oh so full of longing for someone but I am longing myself, longing for some peace and comfort and things that I used to have post “series of unfortunate events” that it matches so well. And yes it makes me cry but I need to, I need it. Otherwise how will I let my frustration out? What means, what ways?
In more ways than one I am waiting but unlike the song, I’ll be moving forward to find what I have lost and possibly to free myself of things that’s tying me down. And I’m hoping, on a clear day, what I have lost comes back to me just like when it left.