If I Knew

If I knew that one day we would part,

I would’ve done everything in my power to block that.

I would’ve gone the distance to stop that day from coming,

I would’ve given everything; if only I knew.

If I knew that we’ll be saying goodbye,

If I knew that the end applies to us,

I would’ve given you more time and attention,

So as to let you know, you’re all I ever wanted.

You’re all that I’ll ever need and more,

Your sweet and gentle presence by my side,

Your reassuring silence, your trusting glance,

That keeps me grounded and makes me feel loved.

And then again if I knew, would I even bother,

Would I ever bother to even start?

Most likely not, how would I know though,

The privilege was never mine.

Yet, at this point in time all I could think of,

If I knew, I wouldn’t have let you walk out that door,

I would’ve just held your hand and whisper to your ear,

“Let me go too, to wherever you are, wherever you’ll be.”

Bleeding on the Guitar

He’s seated on their corner again,

Looking more battered than before;

Staring at nothing in particular,

Sighing, shaking his head.

Surprisingly he still cradles his guitar,

Though the music had completely changed;

Somewhat dark, too far from sweet,

As if completely drowning in memories.

Ah yes, those memories,

Some of joy, most of pain.

Biting and devouring sorrow,

Driving him to forget tomorrow.

Why did she go that way,

Right before his very eyes?

How could she go that way,

Leaving just memories on a guitar?

He’s seated on their corner again,

Reliving everything with every strum;

Letting his feelings show for a moment,

Letting himself bleed on the guitar.

By My Side – His & Her Perspective

His:

Realization swept down on me like cold water,

Drenching and numbing me at the same time.

Knowing the truth, that wretched deception,

All the now uncertainty; bring holes to my soul.

Amidst it all, as things dawn on me I ask:

Why was I always the last to know?

How could they keep me in the dark?

How could I have thought it was worth it?

Yes, I was furious, mad; isn’t that natural?

More so for you’re the first I ever trusted,

The first to know the real me,

The first person to ever have my heart.

I wanted to cause you pain, the same way I do,

I wanted to berate you from head to toe;

I wanted to have my revenge on you –

Only by hurting you, I ache much more.

So I’m laying it all down, as crazy as that might sound,

I won’t be whining like a child anymore.

And regardless if you like someone else –

I need to have you by my side.

 

Hers:

I was too late to realize what’s happening,

Too late to see the bigger picture;

Cause I was mesmerized, taken in by you,

You whom I care for with all my heart.

Amidst this chaos I am unexpectedly trapped in

A trap I escaped from while almost losing someone,

It hit me, the cost of my greed, my selfishness,

Is way higher than I can ever repay.

It saddens me, the thought of you getting hurt,

Knowing you might recoil in the process,

Knowing that it’s better not to long for you,

Wishing you’ll never know the truth.

I know you’ll want revenge once you find out,

You hated being deceived the most,

I’m almost prepared for all the hurtful words,

Yet it still cuts me down, hurts worst.

If only the circumstances are different,

If only you’re not so out of reach,

If only it’s something possible –

I’ll keep you here, right by my side.

AN:

Adapted and inspired by Bride of the Century Ep 11 & 12.

Sorrow Every Morn

Lost in the dark,
Mending a broken heart.
Unsure where to start,
Fixing the gaps and parts.
Everything runs deeply,
I am hurt completely.
It is really that easy,
To throw this all away?
It’s easy to say forever,
Though you know it could be over.
It won’t be that much longer
To see that all is gone.
And here you was the one who said hold on,
That you can never make it on your own,
How could you leave me all alone,
To face the sorrow every morn?
I was so wrong
To think we belong
Dreaming of something
not mine all along.
Sure is all wrong
To hope so strong
That you’ll return
And I won’t be alone.
Now it will never matter,
I know that all is over.
I would stay on my own
And face the sorrow every morn.

Memories

Memories has been clouding me lately;
thoughts of what used to be,
Pretty places, happy faces,
turning all sour and bitter sweet.
Where am I standing now,
is anybody holding my hand?
Is there ever someone who cares,
or is all wishful woes and pleas?
You used to be the sun shining brightly;
the rain gently caressing my face.
The wind that’s tossing my hair,
the earth that keeps me standing still.
What went wrong, who’s to blame?
There’s like 21 questions and counting.
Was I selfish, was I vain,
or is it more of the silly nothings?
You never really said goodbye,
which keeps me wondering why?
You left promising you’d come back,
But maybe it’s just to shut me up.
Whatever happens, life goes on,
counting all my silly questions.
Maybe waiting, maybe not;
the answers would really say a lot.
Until that day, I’ll keep all these,
dark, cloud like memories.
Pretty places, happy faces;
turning all sour and bitter sweet.

Gypsy Prince

Lost and restless,

another sleepless night

of lonely thoughts

and total wondering.

Clouds are but whirling,

like the smoke filling her eyes.

Thoughts of the past,

makes her curl up and hide.

Wrapped and trapped,

existing, not living,

in a protected fortress,

built to seclude herself.

Then he came along,

enticing her that it was torture,

leaving her no choice but to give in.

It was a whirlwind,

rushing at a speed

more than uncontrollable,

there was nothing left

but to fall.

That, she did,

with restless abandon,

drowning in the turbulence

that he offers,

nonetheless short lived.

For he is a vagabond,

lacking the ability to stand still;

living a charming life of a gypsy prince.