As the Cold Wind Blows, I Remember You

As the cold wind blows, I remember you,

Each and everything that we used to do;

Though some has been forgotten – far long gone,

Along with the words that was said and done.

The initial reaction is laughter,

Followed by a free, then controlled smile.

A thought – what if I gave in and falter,

Could we save what we have in that short while?

Will there be any significant change,

Or will everything just be all for naught?

Is it or is it not by chance derange,

To even stop and think such silly thought?

Then –

Well the cold winds blew, I remembered you;

And that time when I don’t have any clue.

When your gestures, your actions were construe,

And I’m confident not to end up blue.

I remembered all those nonstop flutters,

The sweetness, surreality of it all.

Yet now, believe I can’t help but shudder,

Was it me who did that, did I bawl?

Yes, those were the good near forgotten days,

That comes to memory with the cold wind,

The memories, not the feelings that stays,

Not felt by the heart, merely kept in mind.

Still –

As the cold wind blows, I remember you,

Each and everything that we used to do;

Though some has been forgotten – far long gone,

Along with the words that was said and done.

Nostalgic “Lurve” Month

nostalgic

Mood Setters:

Crazy by KC and Jojo

[audio http://aznkyoshiro.free.fr/Music/Kci%20ft%20Jojo/13%20k-ci%20and%20jojo%20-%20crazy.mp3]

Crave by Marc Dorsey

[audio http://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2irlqmkee1qzjsv1o1.mp3]

Come Around by Rhett Miller

[audio http://music.goodmorningandgoodnight.com/songs/03%20Come%20Around.mp3]

I’m feeling particularly nostalgic today, it must be the month, yes it has something to do with the month. There’s two months in particular that I am not excited about, February and my birth month. My birth month because it means I’m aging and February because it means I’ll be witnessing all that sweetness, only witness it and not participate. I sound so bitter.
When was that again, that time when I was all excited about the “lurve” month? I think that’s over 12 years ago, 12 long years ago. After that every “lurve” month turned out to be just another month, another month like the 11 others, non significant. I guess I still feel the sting of my tragic first love that’s why every “lurve” month, it’s like a ghost that haunts me. I’m so sentimental.

It might sound that I didn’t get myself involved with someone else after that first time, I did, but somehow, the significance of that first time was never erased. I know it’s my fault because it became a measuring stick or something, which is not good but happening. I guess it is going to be hard to give myself fully, I’m such a coward when it comes to this kind of things. I am like this moth that flew near the attractive candle light then got its wing burned slightly then got away. Of course the moth won’t go near that light anymore, it learned its lesson, that’s me, I still hold that pieces of memory.
It’s funny because I’m holding on to this pieces of memory, no matter how bittersweet it is, no matter how hurt I get though it doesn’t mean that I’m not looking forward to what is to happen. I know one of these days, someday, that person would come, I’ll muster that courage to open up and give myself fully but for now I’ll welcome this nostalgic moment and drown in songs we use to listen to, songs that has been a part of that dream that eventually turned into a nightmare and hopefully, by the time I completely wake up and accept that it’s all part of life I won’t be so bitter and this nostalgic moments come February would bring me smile, more than tears.