He Had to be With Her

Standing at that crossroad,
he made up his mind.
He arrived at that conclusion,
he had to be with her.
Carefully like a knight in armor,
about to go to war,
he prepared for what’s to come,
aware of the consequences, the outcome.
And like a knight madly in love,
he sought his damsel prior the fight.
To make sure she’s safe from harm,
As he flung himself into danger abound.
It was perilous, that’s an understatement,
for it was more a dying moment,
being down to that very last breath
the result of wrath unleashed.
He was shattered,
for he is no knight, just a boy.
A boy wanting a chance at things,
life, love and everything.
Still he managed to keep the façade,
mask the turmoil boiling inside,
The pain, the suffering he has to bear,
the result of receiving a cold shoulder.
Yet it was just for a moment,
just until their eyes met.
And knowing she’s suffering as much as he was,
the tears just fell, still he had to be with her.

I Said Goodbye

I said goodbye,

wishing it was for real,

that it’s really what I feel like;

not just a sudden burst of anger –

something all but whimsical.

Absurd, for I try my hardest

to abhor and hate you,

nonetheless, it’s futile;

for my heart is yours –

your possession and not mine.

It’s unfair, I can’t take it;

for every time I take a step backwards,

I always end up three steps towards you.

In front of you, though you barely see me,

though you barely know I’m there.

And it’s murdering me,

to feel that you’re a breath away,

a kiss, a smile, a touch nearby,

knowing that you’re around,

knowing it’s me you couldn’t find.

Thus I said goodbye,

rather than waste away,

not that I won’t without you.

But it’s a whole lot better

to waste away on my own.

For to feel that you’re there when you’re not is poison;

death is loving you when you can’t love me back.

Here I Am, There You Were

It started with a hi,

and everything just passed by.

Time seemed to stand still,

like it lost its free will.

Long talks, silly stories,

giggling constantly in delight.

Sweet smile, mischievous one,

drives me crazy all the time.

Everything is magical,

like being kissed for the first time,

I feel so darn whimsical,

dreaming that this is all mine.

Wake up – back to reality;

things cannot seem to be.

Those pretty smiles, even the silly ones,

it wasn’t really meant for me.

No matter how much I want it,

no matter how much I need it,

things aren’t written for me,

hard to realize but you see –

here I am, there you were,

two worlds great distance; apart.

Here I am, there you were,

there’s this someone holding your heart.

So I’ll just let things be,

content on dreaming of you and me,

treasuring those words and efforts,

remembering here I am, there you were.

Gypsy Prince

Lost and restless,

another sleepless night

of lonely thoughts

and total wondering.

Clouds are but whirling,

like the smoke filling her eyes.

Thoughts of the past,

makes her curl up and hide.

Wrapped and trapped,

existing, not living,

in a protected fortress,

built to seclude herself.

Then he came along,

enticing her that it was torture,

leaving her no choice but to give in.

It was a whirlwind,

rushing at a speed

more than uncontrollable,

there was nothing left

but to fall.

That, she did,

with restless abandon,

drowning in the turbulence

that he offers,

nonetheless short lived.

For he is a vagabond,

lacking the ability to stand still;

living a charming life of a gypsy prince.

Another Day

She opened her eyes,

welcoming disorientation,

then the realization —

she’s awake for another day.

Pulled herself together,

one could say begrudgingly,

as if fighting the unseen,

while it pins her in tempting comfort.

“Five more minutes, give me five more minutes,”

this is her plea to her alarm.

Five more minutes, just five more minutes,

until she face her world’s lack of warmth.

Wallflower

I’m running in that same direction,

the path that I used to walk on.

The path i promised never to cross again;

but alas, here I am.

I promised not to be back,

maybe more than a hundred times.

I promised not to run back;

but I guess I couldn’t leave it at that.

I was teased, tested and then broken,

things that couldn’t be just forgotten.

That’s why I can’t believe this is happening,

am doing the same thing again.

Running around in circles,

finding someone not supposed.

Feelings that’s suppressed, hidden.

Why was all the spell broken?

It wasn’t supposed to happen,

wasn’t supposed to care.

Wasn’t suppose to feel,

why is this being real?

The signs, the sighs, all fuzzy.

And everything is so bubbly.

Warm, gooey and delicious,

but it is never malicious.

I am doomed, drowning again,

in a pool of uncertain depth.

I am caught, hook line and sinker,

I’ve reached the point of no return.

But it’s all a one way thing,

a product of my own imaginings.

It is all a nonsensical thing,

to a dying wallflower.