On Repeat: This Isn’t It (이게 아닌데) – Taeyang

I have a very soft spot for Taeyang – yes, that’s a declaration because I’ve known about Taeyang before I even started to really pay attention to the Kpop scene. I can still remember how that happened… Year 2010, I was getting tired of the repetitive English songs I’ve been listening to so I asked a good friend of mine who’s in the know of good songs/singers more than I am and Taeyang’s Wedding Dress was one of his suggestion. From that day on, with the first listen, he took a spot in my heart that will belong to him and him alone. Ah, Sol, Taeyang, Youngbae, you got me alright, with that sweet yet melancholic voice of yours, turning me to mush with every listen, all the time, every time.

One thing that I love about Taeyang, he sings sad songs with perfection, the feelings, expression, and every single note, everything about it – absolutely flawless to my ears. Of course it’s a matter of preference and I for one prefer this sort of songs because I am this perpetually brokenhearted girl for no particular reason. Weird right, well that’s me.

Enough with the babbling and more of the music; the song that I currently have on repeat is This Isn’t It (이게 아닌데) by Taeyang who as I said holds a special place in my heart. This song is off his album Rise; released a couple of months ago. I admit I loved most of the songs; alright all of the songs in the album but this song is my favorite, because it’s depressingly good. You can feel the rawness of pain, like the real deal about the lyrics just happened recently, oh the agony! What am I talking about? Let’s read the translated lyrics shall we:

I still love you

I wanted to tell you,

The one who couldn’t take it anymore and

Gave up in the end.

I miss you more than I hate you

I long for you more than I’m sad

Is this not it? Is this not it?

If we bump into each other, what would happen?

Would I hide from you amongst the crowd,

Even if it’s only a waste of insignificant feelings.

I worry throughout the day,

The medicine of time has passed,

But this isn’t it, this isn’t it, this isn’t it.

You may be smiling from happiness now.

You, the person who left hurtful scars more than happy memories,

I miss you more than I hate you,

I long for you more than I’m sad.

Is this not it? Is this not it?

It was so familiar from the start,

More than a long-time couple,

And now it’s nothing but insignificant memories.

I worry throughout the day,

The medicine of time has passed,

But this isn’t it, this isn’t it, this isn’t it.

I tried emptying out my heart that’s filled with you,

Hoping something movie-like would happen to me.

I worry throughout the day,

The medicine of time has passed,

But this isn’t it, this isn’t it, this isn’t it.

Even I feel sorry for myself,

I want to bury this finished love,

But this can’t be it, this can’t be it, this can’t be it.

Isn’t it depressingly good? Every time I listen to this song I get all misty eyed because it’s like I can almost see what’s happening, like there’s this heartbreaking music video in my mind.  Him looking from afar, fighting with himself because he knows both sides of the coin; yet what he feels for the person he used to love is sort of still there, but that’s not it, it shouldn’t be it anymore. cries And Sol’s voice aaaah cries some more it’s full of longing and pain at the same time. And now I’m officially a mess, I believe I can finish that dying scene now, thanks Sol. And here – I hope you will give it a listen:

Taeyang

Lyrics Source | popgasa |

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