Realization swept down on me like cold water,
Drenching and numbing me at the same time.
Knowing the truth, that wretched deception,
All the now uncertainty; bring holes to my soul.
Amidst it all, as things dawn on me I ask:
Why was I always the last to know?
How could they keep me in the dark?
How could I have thought it was worth it?
Yes, I was furious, mad; isn’t that natural?
More so for you’re the first I ever trusted,
The first to know the real me,
The first person to ever have my heart.
I wanted to cause you pain, the same way I do,
I wanted to berate you from head to toe;
I wanted to have my revenge on you –
Only by hurting you, I ache much more.
So I’m laying it all down, as crazy as that might sound,
I won’t be whining like a child anymore.
And regardless if you like someone else –
I need to have you by my side.
I was too late to realize what’s happening,
Too late to see the bigger picture;
Cause I was mesmerized, taken in by you,
You whom I care for with all my heart.
Amidst this chaos I am unexpectedly trapped in
A trap I escaped from while almost losing someone,
It hit me, the cost of my greed, my selfishness,
Is way higher than I can ever repay.
It saddens me, the thought of you getting hurt,
Knowing you might recoil in the process,
Knowing that it’s better not to long for you,
Wishing you’ll never know the truth.
I know you’ll want revenge once you find out,
You hated being deceived the most,
I’m almost prepared for all the hurtful words,
Yet it still cuts me down, hurts worst.
If only the circumstances are different,
If only you’re not so out of reach,
If only it’s something possible –
I’ll keep you here, right by my side.
Adapted and inspired by Bride of the Century Ep 11 & 12.