A YY Couple Fan Fiction: We Are Dating, Chapter 13

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Chapter 13: “It Wasn’t So”

“Seyoung-ah, Seyoung-ah, let me explain,” Wooyoung said following her out of the apartment.

Oppa, let her go. Don’t you feel relieved she’s leaving,” Minji said, getting in his way.

“Get out of my way,” Wooyoung shouted as she pushed her aside with his elbow and hurriedly followed Seyoung.

He was not quick enough, plus she has a few meters head start thanks to Minji’s interference. Before he could get really close to her, she already drove away, leaving him broken and worried yet determined to clear himself. He went back to his apartment to get his car key. He was expecting Minji to be gone by now but she’s not. She was waiting for him to come, sitting in one of the single sofa in his living room. He ignored her and took his car key from its holder. He was heading out when she spoke.

Oppa, are you really going to be like this? Are you really just gonna ignore me?” asked Minji in a pained voice.

“Oh, wae; are you under the impression that I would treat you special because you came back?” Wooyoung said harshly. “Chakak hajima.

“Aren’t you being too much considering that you’re the one who said ‘let’s break up’ two and a half years ago?” said Minji.

“Are you really going to insist that I asked for a break up back then?” Wooyoung said, annoyed and impatient. “I don’t have time for this but since you’re insisting, I’ll let you have it. What I asked from you is to understand that I won’t always be there – that I can’t, that I have my career in front of me and people that I can’t let down. I was asking for you to endure everything with me, I wanted your patience not the space that you created.”

Oppa…” said Minji, teary eyed.

Kurigo, now you’re saying that we broke up but in front of Seyoung you’re insisting that we didn’t,” he pointed out. “Do you think I don’t know what you’re playing at?”

“But we never did broke up, that didn’t happen,” Minji defended weakly. “I know it’s my fault Oppa, I should have listened to you and I should have given you the chance to explain yourself. Mianhae.”

“Don’t you think your apology’s too late? It’s been two and a half years; if you were really sorry, you could have reached out long before,” he said bitterly. “Why now, why when I’ve already moved on?”

Mianhae, Oppa. Chongmal mianhae. Can’t you find it in you to forgive me, jebal,” she cried. “You promised you’ll love me forever.”

Kure, I can forgive you in time but that’s it, no more,” he said. “All these years, you think I don’t have any idea what you’re up to, where you were, where you’ve gone when you left without saying goodbye? I know everything, our friends talk about you, and how you’ve been having such an awesome time while I’ve been miserable I even had to take some time off everything.”

“That’s not true Oppa, I was as miserable as you! I’ve been heartbroken since,” she feebly denied.

“Don’t think you can convince me with those tears or your words, it’s not going to happen,” he said firmly. “We’re over – done. I loved you and that it’s. The woman I love just walked out of my door because of you. No, it’s because of me too, because I am too slow, because I was angered by your appearance I couldn’t think straight.”

Minji was speechless; she cannot believe how much he has changed. He was an entirely different person that she can’t help thinking is he really the same guy who begged her to take his dreams into consideration – to endure for and with him. She realized that it was a mistake to have listened to the coaxing for her to get back together with him. She took a deep breath, collected her thoughts and said, “I know this sounds really lame keunde chongmal mollasseo; I didn’t know that what I did hurt you that badly. I didn’t have any idea of how much you suffered after I left. Mian, Oppa. I really thought I still have a place in your heart that’s why I came back, but it’s not so. I sincerely wish you happiness.”

He was surprised by her sudden change of tone – her change of mind, the acceptance and sincerity. For the first time since she stepped into his house he took a good look at her. That’s when it dawned on him that this is not entirely her doing, there’s someone else behind this but he’s really running out of time to pry some more.

“Minji-ah, I know there’s something more behind your appearance today. But I’m really running out of time. I have to go,” he said and hurriedly walk out of the door.

He rushed to where his car was parked and got in as fast as he could. As he makes his way out of the parking lot, he dialed her number. Please pick up, jebal Seyoung-ah, answer the phone, he thought as he waits for her to answer his call – it didn’t happen. He was about to dial again when his phone rings.

“Wooyoung-ah, it’s me,” said Minjun on the other line. “I know it’s supposed to be our rest day today and you’re occupied but we need you to come to the practice room. There are some changes with the routine.”

Hyung, can I come later. I just really need to take care of something important,” Wooyoung replied in a desperate tone.

Wae? Wae gure? Moosun il itsseotsseo?” Minjun asked worriedly.

“I’ll tell you about it later Hyung, jebal. I’ll come as soon as I can,” he said before hanging up.

He tried to call Seyoung again only to find out that she has turned her phone off. Where is she? Where in God’s name did she go? Seyoung-ah, mianhae. Jebal let me make it up to you, don’t run away. The more he thinks of what could happen, the more paranoid he becomes. He’s been through something like this before but he’s more at a lost and scared right now than he was before and it’s killing him. He drove around hoping to spot her car but to no avail, that’s when he decided to drive to her home. He was greeted by her puzzled mother.

“I thought you have a schedule or something when I saw Seyoung’s car parked outside. Is something wrong?” she asked concerned.

He do not know how to reply to her mother’s question nor face her properly, he can only fidget with his hands out of nervousness.

“I’ll go call her for you, chamkkanman,” said her mother, getting a hint of the situation and trying her best to be as levelheaded about it as possible.

He waited in agony; it feels like forever before her mother came back and the anticipation build up is nerve wracking plus her pained look keep flashing back in his mind that it makes him wanna kick his own self for being witless. You are so stupid Jang Wooyoung! How can you think of yourself first before the woman you love?

“I’m sorry but she’s asleep. I tried to wake her but she must be really tired, there was no response at all,” her mother said once she came back.

“It’s okay Omonim. Can I wait here until she wakes up, I really wanna talk to her, please,” he replied politely.

“Are you sure you want to wait? Don’t you have any schedule today?” her mother asked.

He was about to say no when his phone started ringing. He ignored it without checking who the call was from and said, “It is okay Omonim; I don’t have any schedule today.”

His phone rang a second time; he was about to ignore it again when her mother spoke.

“Answer it, it must be important,” she said.

He answered without looking who is on the line, “Yoboseyo?

Yah imma, chikum uhdiyah? Why aren’t you here yet? You’re needed here!” said the voice on the other line, clearly irritated.

“Jinyoung hyung, mianhaeyo, I’m coming,” he lied.

“You better be, even if you’re a good dancer, you shouldn’t be this irresponsible!”

Ne, hyung, mianhaeyo. I’ll be there,” he managed to say before the line was cut.

Omonim, shilejiman…” he started.

“You want me to wake Seyoung up one more time?” her mother finished his sentence. “I can see that you are desperate to talk to her and that you must have had a misunderstanding for her to avoid seeing you but you have to go. Your president won’t call you for something petty. I understand how you feel, I do, but you have to leave for now. You can clear your misunderstanding some other day.”

Omonim…

“I won’t judge you because I do not know the whole story, but I’m not taking your side either. What I know though is that misunderstanding happens in any relationship but it shouldn’t affect everything else. You should go,” her mother said.

Arossoyo, Omonim. I will come back later,” he said. He bowed to Seyoung’s mother and made his way to the door, feeling emptier than earlier.

“SUGOHASYEOTSSEUMNIDA,” THE SIX OF THEM SAID ALTOGETHER. They just finished another performance and everybody is packing up for the day.

“Shall we go eat somewhere?” Chansung suggested. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry, you and Taec,” said Nichkhun eyeing Taecyeon.

“Why do you always connect my name to food, that’s not right,” Taecyeon said, defending himself.

Junho signaled for them to be quiet. He has been looking at Wooyoung who is quieter than his usual self. He’s walking with them but he seems to not be with them at all.

“Wooyoung-ah, gwenchanah?” Minjun asked thrice before Wooyoung noticed.

Hyung, oh, gwenchanah,” he replied, not looking at Minjun.

“I don’t think so. You don’t look okay,” said Junho, putting his arm around Wooyoung. “Wae, she’s still not talking to you?”

“Huh? Oh, but please I don’t want to talk about it,” Wooyoung replied. “Can I go ahead; I’m not in a mood to hang out today.”

Kure, naeil bwa,” said Minjun. “Call if you need company.”

Arassoyo, Hyung,” he said and waved at them before walking away.

“I’m worried about him; it’s different this time around. He looks like he’s about to fall apart,” Nichkhun said as they watch him walk away.

“You noticed it too?” said Minjun. “I just hope they get back together soon, I don’t want to see him trying so hard to be happy anymore. It’s painful to watch.”

“Same here, and I wish he talks about it so we can help,” added Junho.

“Let him be for now, we know him. He would open up if he really can’t take it anymore,” said Taeyeon reminding them of how Wooyoung is as a person.

I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME. THE DAY THAT I’D FEEL SUCH EMPTINESS BEING IN MY OWN HOUSE, Wooyoung thought as he enters his apartment. This place feels so cold; I am feeling cold he said to himself. It’s been more than a week now since he last saw her, more than a week since he last heard her voice and it’s breaking his heart because he knows that it’s his own fault. It’s his own fault why he’s in this situation, why he’s in this mess. I should have said I love her; I should have assured her that she’s the one I want to be with. I’m such an idiot!

He checked his phone, hoping for a reply to the 6,812 messages that he has sent only to find nothing. Just like she hasn’t answered any of his calls since that day, she hasn’t sent any reply. How do I let her know that it wasn’t so, that I am completely, hopelessly, madly, deeply in love with her to even think of the past or any other woman?

He sat on the sofa, remembering her all the while. The last time they cuddled here feels like ages ago. If only I can turn back the time he thought. He looked at the note on the center table, Minji’s very late and insignificant apology. If he’s not at a lost right now he would have looked into who convinced her to come back but that’s not the case. He’s been in hell since that day that he barely knows what’s been happening around him. He’s been on interviews one after the other, he performed on stages, smiling and having fun but deep inside, he’s crying. “Jugeul kkeot gata,” he said as silent tears fall down on his face.

He got up and went to his bedroom, rid himself of his clothes and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. As the water flows on his body, he remembered his pain for the past days, the longing, anger and helplessness. He couldn’t come back to visit her after the practice because they ended up really late, then the schedule filed up that there was no possible way to escape. I don’t wanna feel anymore he thought as he let the water flow on his body as if it would wash his feelings away, as if it would erase his weariness and agony, and before long his tears started to mix with the water.

After his shower, he decided to stay in his living room, since sleep has been hard to come by lately, like it has been avoiding him like the proverbial plague. He connected his MP3 player to the sound system and set it on shuffle. A familiar song played, calling, connecting to him and in no time he was dancing in sync to the rhythm and beat of the song as the lyrics says what he had failed to put into words.

I can’t win, I can’t reign

I will never win this game

Without you, without you

I am lost, I am vain,

I will never be the same

Without you, without you

I won’t run, I won’t fly

I will never make it by

Without you, without you

I can’t rest, I can’t fight

All I need is you and I,

Without you, without you

Oh oh oh!

You! You! You!

Without…

You! You! You!

Without…you

As he immersed himself to the song, giving all that he’s got with every turn, every chasse it dawned on him what he should do. A plan on how to get her back came to him. Of course it’s going to be tedious but he does not care, he can’t be without her.

Can’t erase, so I’ll take blame

But I can’t accept that we’re estranged

Without you, without you

I can’t quit now, this can’t be right

I can’t take one more sleepless night

Without you, without you

I won’t soar, I won’t climb

If you’re not here, I’m paralyzed

Without you, without you

I can’t look, I’m so blind

I lost my heart, I lost my mind

Without you, without you

Wooyoung revealed in the lyrics and danced to the song like his life depended on it. It’s the break that he was waiting, the wake up call that he shouldn’t be wallowing and pitying himself but making the grand gesture. A reminder that he’s not giving his best to win the woman he loves with all of himself. Enough subtlety Jang Wooyoung, you won’t get anywhere with that he said to himself as he lay down on the floor, exhausted from dancing. Once his breathing calmed down he got up and took his phone. He searched his phonebook and smiled when he found the contact person he was looking for. I have long accepted that there’s no such thing as pride for the person I love. I’m gonna do anything to get her back he resolutely said to himself as he place the call.

I Listen, You Can Share Your Thoughts With Me